college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
