then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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