I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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