i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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