I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
