dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
