Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
