Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
