found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
