I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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