yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's shark week go big or go home
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
