dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize