we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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