that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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