Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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