I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
