the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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