Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
