wakey wakey hands off snakey
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I understand Curling. That high.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
