I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
