if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
