Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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