that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
