yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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