So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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