found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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