There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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