Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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