u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
As shirtless as possible
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
