You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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