Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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