"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
