I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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