UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
