i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
