Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
