That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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