dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we're so committed to being not committed
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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