i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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