Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So here I am, sexting at work.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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