i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
