I bet he comes in French.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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