No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize