Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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