Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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