I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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