if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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