My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
