Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
