Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's official drugs can't kill me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
