He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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