I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize