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I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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