a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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