do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize