Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
