I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
