I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
