she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
